Gregarions
From The Encyclopaedia Expurgatia
Any useless individual of a given species which justifies its existence by making its existence known to those useful individuals of a given species which don't give a damn whether the gregarion exists at all.
The gregarion may be known by other names: the joiner, the parasite, Hutch, and so on. It will spot a given useful member or group of members of a species and invite itself over to beleaguer the useful with unnecessary questions which are designed to produce new or divert existing conversations which could include the gregarion who doesn't belong there.
Gregarions can be observed in any social scheme. They're most frequently suffered in restaurants, though they also operate through other means of communication, such as ICQ and AIM on the internet.
Having successfully infected the useful with unnecessary questions, the gregarion will assume that it belongs to the useful group. Any suggestion from the useful that the gregarion is not, in fact, a member of this higher order of society will result in insults, complaints, threats, and warnings; it's not uncommon for a gregarion to insert itself into a situation arbitrarily, only to eventually accuse the victim of leading it on by making it seemingly evident that the gregarion was welcome in the first place.
If you, the reader, are a member of the useful faction of your species, and you are afflicted by a gregarion, the best defence is offence: attack swiftly and powerfully; a wounded gregarion is a dangerous beast which will offer to kill you even without a plan of attack.
If you, the reader, are a gregarion: go away; right now; don't think about it; stop reading this and go find someone else to bother....
Editor's Note: The individual who was shot seems to have survived. We assume that slicing him into little teeny bits will prevent him from adding any more entries into the Encyclopaedia Expurgatia.
For the last time, we apologise for any inconvenience.
--The Management
